This blog contains moments and thoughts that I do not share on social media, only with those in the LionHeart Family. This one is vulnerable but so needed for not only myself but for the whole world.
I ran today. Yay. .6 miles and it only took 14 minutes. (insert chortle here)
As soon as you're done laughing I will share the back story. I have CPTSD, endured horrible abuse that sped up my auto-immune issues activating my osteoarthritis and rapid bone degeneration. So... Pain, all day everyday. Here is a less than complete bullet point summery of my life since 2020.
Healthy, happy, running 4 miles a day, 16 credit semesters, top of class, mom, downhill skating, toughing old climbing records then ~
I got pregnant.
Bed rest, spending savings to survive.
Flared my trauma back.
Covid hit. Lost my career. 16 years, 7 national awards and BOOM ~ Nothing. Absolutely nothing. 2 years of contracts cancelled over the span of a week. Couldn't qualify for govt small business things..
basically homeless with new partner and three kids, cat and dog.... jeepers.
My brother in law got a home and gave us half rent free to rebuild. I started an art school for homeschooled kids. It was wildly successful for three months when covid restrictions grew. Lost that one.
Massive depression, hiding and fighting to choose to STAY;
I Tiktok'd and it seemed my trauma tips were useful... turned out they were super useful. I built a business. And started climbing out of this hole that I willingly climbed into.
Today... I ran. It was a shitty shitty shitty run. 14 minutes with multiple breaks and I only hit .6 miles. But I am sitting in so much self pride right now! I did it! I fucking did it. I want to be healthy but I do not want to take the efforts and pains to get there. But today I decided to do it. and I did.
So... thank you lindy, for your seriously shitty run. Can wait to run with you again.